Undan Hulu

I long for the quietness of heart while the world roams dumb and loud and broken. 

Today I took the paints and brushes from the loft attempting to spill the inside. I painted god, one eye bigger than the other, and a mouth too small to swallow my world. He came out sad and distorted, a clear reflection of myself. 

I wish my heart was pure like the heart of a child. To curl up in the warmth of home. To let the weight of my body press into earth dampened by fresh rain. To sink into cold oceans and come out clean like a cat. 

I am unable to find the dark silence that I crave, and breathe breathe breathe. To rise at dawn, strengthened by sleep and sing the day in with the names of god. To escape this humdrum existence for I break away from myself more and more, with consistency. 

I pray to my god, distorted yet still clinging on my mind’s edge, I pray for the depth and clarity of water. 

Wide-eyed and poor, I pray. 

My only shelter.