we are playing with the laws of god

like the tooth of a child breaking open

any growth brings with it pain. 

to change means to burn to the marrow 

then gather myself back into newness. 

I now know the suffering of spring, 

the agony of renewal. 

with it, there is the uncertainty 

of leaving your old self behind like a lie; 

the frightening possibility of failing 

to find anything at all. 

I am burdened with fault 

on my skin I etched anger like a name, and my tongue 

tastes of a revolution: 

rising against myself, against the country where I was born,

I nourished rancour until my heart closed up  

like the mouth of a cave,

and handled the fire in my bones 

with a clear purpose of decline. 

darkness follows me like a faithful servant 

and pain - the old friend who never speaks. 

I believe they’re here for a good cause, 

and they stand by me with great regularity. 

I shall receive them gladly. 

They know me well. 

the rules are laid out with clarity, 

and I am no good player in life’s game,

but I would rather burn to come out clean

than take the happiness that blinds the fools.