Relapse

my mind is parched like a dried up fish from a lack of sea. 

I’ve carried the scars of unfaithfulness on my skin since the day I was born. 

I happened upon a pained world that I failed to fathom 

and my life became an apostasy, looking from god to god;

every morning - a renaissance

every spring - a reconstruction of faith. 

All that I love withdraws with precision 

at exact timings, I am left to bear the punishment of inadequacy 

and I wail the name of God with disgrace 

for I dwindle the gifts that he offered me. 

I pray forgiveness for my frailty of heart,

for my incapability to be the daughter, 

the sister, the friend, the lover and the wife.

My heart is a cavern, the entrance not to be found. 

                                               

I pray forgiveness for I am flawed 

and I am darkened by circumstance.