Modern ties

I watch as this stagnant conglomeration of muscle, veins, the seldom scar

becomes a bright white screen on which you tap, tap, tap every night

the light reflects on the ceiling above fluctuating like a life 

in its machine-like motion in time with your fingers 

while the room is dark our bodies apart only your slow pulse 

touching my ear dissolving every second into silence

but what gives me the certainty of us is synchronised breath in and     out and in and out, 

the breath is the only part that is touching

from underneath the floral sheets I listen to the stillness between us 

that cracks like rice krispies, a stillness so loud the shards cut deep into my skin 

and I taste metal on the tip of my tongue where words struggle to come out 

while I keep them inside like mad dogs; and I know when you fall asleep

not because you turn round to bury your nose in my neck, 

not because our hands and legs grow into different types of knots,  
or because your lips sculpture goodnight on mine

but because the tap, tap, tap is no more 

and the bleached light from the phone screen becomes the unscathed darkness of sleep.