eyes shut

stars flicker - corpses of dreams

hanging from dark sky dissolving blue 

leaning on top of my head 

like a newborn baby’s ceiling of glue-me-on stars 

to fool me into safety

the roots traversing my body

- up and down and up -

break and twist. 

sky bleeds 

goodbyes with its terrible dusk.

night drowns me with a silence that

drops like tears. night drowns me.

I carry a fruitless story inside me, unreturned 

unanswered; 

I carry a story inside me 

every day, it grows. I do not believe in way-outs 

or escapes anymore. 

a story irrevocable that travels with me,

carved on every hand that I dare to love, 

written on the walls of every room and every heart,

spoken in every language 

and every world.

unable to grow 

I drop like a fish

breathless and

immutable.