Unremarkable

I placed my soul in a glass jar - sterile and well preserved

It is so small, untouched by the world and still unbroken 

Only 

your meticulous fingerprints are carved on it -

I cannot obliterate such crucial evidence. 

I cannot mend the aching lacerations that you made,

I cannot annihilate the marvel of yesterday

the illusive prospect of a better life. 

What a fool, what a fool:

bedbound broken and blank 

my fat read heart is saturated

I am unmistakably exhausted. 

The world is crushed with such tragedies: nothing new, no miracles. 

Soon you will forget the vanilla girl with nothing to offer but words and colours 

clinging to you like a mad leech, 

a vampire yearning for love. 

I am that girl no more: dried up like a dead plant

empty, empty and yellow 

But my soul is sheltered inside the glass jar,

incapable of love, refusing to forget or to heal 

condensed like a fist, quivering.

I shut my eyes, I cannot bear this interminable winter, so brutal

it stripped me of all I had, it wiped out all the battles I won, 

it destroyed the footing I built for years and years and years. 

All it left is an imprint of all I was before, enclosed in

the same skin and the same bones 

but unsaveable and soulless.